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How to Save on Groceries
JOY: And did you find everything you were looking for today?
JEN: Yep!
JOY: That's… hilarious.
JEN: What is?
JOY: Oh, nothing. I'm just, like, really into not throwing my money away for no reason, and so when I see people doing it, I think it's hilarious. Like how all your stuff is brand name. So funny.
JEN: What… but I like this stuff! These snacks are awesome! And this juice is off the hook! Generic versions just don't taste the same.
JOY: Yeah, but there's always something on your list that you can substitute with less expensive in-store brands and literally not care about the difference.
JEN: I don't know about that.
JOY: So you're telling me you're so convinced that these specific garbage bags do a better job of, like, holding garbage than any of the other garbage bags and that you consciously decided to spend more money on them because of it?
JEN: You're right. I don't really care about the garbage bags. Or those cotton swabs. Or the basic stuff like flour, sugar, spices. But I'm choosing to keep the snacks and the juice brand name. On purpose. What now?
JOY: You chose individually wrapped snack sizes.
JEN: So?
JOY: It's hilarious because people think they're paying for convenience, but they're really just lazy.
JEN: Yeah… I really can't tell if you're helping me or insulting me right now.
JOY: It's just usually a better deal to buy a large value size and portion it yourself. Plus, it creates less waste than prepackaged stuff.
JEN: I am all about that! That's why I got all this stuff—to save money by making my own meals!
JOY: It's so hilarious how companies want you to think that it's so hard to shred cheese and rinse lettuce yourself. You pay a premium for prewashed, pre-portioned or pre-sliced items.
JEN: Hmm. I do have a cheese grater at home. And a sink! I don't mind putting in a little extra effort to save some cash.
JOY: That's hilarious.
JEN: Come on, I need all of those… don't I?
JOY: Cleaning products are advertised as having specific uses, but a lot of them use the same ingredients.
JEN: Hey… you're totally right! I could replace a bunch of this stuff with one multi-purpose cleaner.
JOY: Or get a jug of vinegar and a box of baking soda and you're, like, set for life. Anyway, your total comes to $42.50. Do you have any coupons?
JEN: No.
JOY: Loyalty card?
JEN: Nope.
JOY: So funny…
JEN: Aw, come on! Is any of that worth my time?
JOY: I dunno, how long does it take you to do a web search? How hard is it to check the store flyer as you walk in?
JEN: Point taken, Joy. I'll just leaf through this magical flyer and magically find a… oh, whadda-ya-know. One dollar off multi-purpose cleaner.
JOY: Yah. Thank you for shopping at Sunshine Mart. Have a super sunshine-y day.
JOY: Precut avocado halves. That's… hilarious.
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