LUCY: Hey Jen, do you wanna do one of these online personality quiz things?
JEN: I would, except I've done all of them already.
LUCY: Did you do what color is your aura?
JEN: Atomic tangerine.
LUCY: I'll take that as a yes. What about which emoji…
JEN: The smiley with sunglasses.
LUCY: What about, how long would you last in a zombie apocalypse?
JEN: Did that one too and, for your information, twenty four minutes.
LUCY: Yikes. So I take it you already did which bird represents your money persona?
JEN: Oooh! That's a new one.
LUCY: It tells you how you relate to money! You can either be an Avoiding Ostrich, a Strutting Peacock, a Stashing Crow or a Wary Owl.
JEN: Ooh! Ooh! Which one am I?
LUCY: Let's find out! It starts off with Avoiding Ostrich.
LUCY: The Avoiding Ostrich would rather bury his head in the sand than face reality when it comes to money.
JEN: I don't think I'm that one.
LUCY: Deep down, the avoiding ostrich feels guilty or underserving of money and tends to sabotage their own financial health. You can usually spot an ostrich persona by their stacks of unopened bills.
JEN: Well that doesn't sound like…
LUCY: Or by their unwillingness to talk about money with partners and family members.
JEN: Can we skip ahead?
LUCY: The Avoiding Ostrich is therefore vulnerable to unnecessary fees and late charges and tends to struggle with debt management.
JEN: Okay okay, what's the next one?
LUCY: The Strutting Peacock. The Strutting Peacock sees money as the ultimate status symbol and chooses impressing others over their own financial well-being.
LUCY: Deep down, the Strutting Peacock believes that self worth comes from the lifestyle they lead, so they tend to create the illusion of being more financially successful than they actually are.
JEN: Yeah, not ringing a bell.
LUCY: Strutting peacocks tend to be over-spenders and in major debt from keeping up appearances. They're also vulnerable to get-rich-quick schemes and risky investments.
JEN: Why's that?
LUCY: Because the thought of having a big payout to brag about is just too enticing.
JEN: Okay, what's the next one?
LUCY: The Stashing Crow. The Crow is all about money worship and believes that money is important and scarce. Deep down, the Stashing Crow believes that you can never have enough money to afford the things you need and want in life.
JEN: That's kind of a bummer.
LUCY: Stashing Crows enjoy the safety of a stockpile and therefore have hoarding tendencies and are likely to be workaholics. They put making money above everything…
JEN: Hello? Yes it is. The Johnston account? I'll get right on it.
LUCY: Uh… Jen?
JEN: One sec… just gotta finish up this email… and… okay! What were you saying?
LUCY: Hmm. The last persona on the list is the Wary Owl. The Wary Owl is extremely vigilant when it comes to money and tends to underspend.
JEN: Isn't that a good thing? I thought only overspending was bad!
LUCY: A little bit of money vigilance is good, but Wary Owls are at the extreme. Their relationship with money is based in fear. Wary owls have trust issues when it comes to financial institutions and banking products. The fear of losing their money keeps them from investing or growing their money.
JEN: Sounds kind of paranoid to me.
LUCY: Yeah, kind of like those people that keep all of their money hidden under their mattresses!
JEN: So crazy. I don't know about this quiz, though. I mean I didn't relate to it at all, but… hypothetically, if I did relate to all of the money birds, would that mean I'm doomed?
LUCY: Jen! Of course not! Everyone has a couple of these behaviors that they sometimes gravitate to. The important thing is recognizing those behaviors so that when you're making financial decisions, you're not basing them on avoidance or status or worship or fear!
JEN: Cool. Okay now let's do which Italian pasta is your soulmate!
JEN: I hope I get spaghetti.
JEN: You know, I was secretly hoping my money persona would be a flamingo.
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